breezeshadow: AWESOME TIMES ICON (DuckyWEEEEE)
Taking a much-needed week-long vacation and I can feel my muse stirring after what feels like years of writer's block. I think playing the Wekesa family in The Sims 3 helped. And thus I bring you: Bakari and Batuuli having a cameo in Abandoned Gardens:

1800s photography and my attempts at traditional Swahili clothing, oh my! )

If anyone out there actually knows about East African traditional clothing and can let me know if what I gave Batuuli and Bakari makes sense, that would be great. Unfortunately yet unsurprisingly, the internet did not yield a lot of information, what with its European-centric views and all.

And as a fun bonus, one of Alden and Bakari's adopted children married a man who then used Joy for a magician trick:

She made exactly the face I'd expect. Also grr, my spreadsheet says Bakari has brown-red hair but in the Sims he still has the blonde-red hair he started with! Which one is it, me?!

breezeshadow: BRAIN PROBLEMS ICON (BrokenBrainGoldfish)
TW for PTSD )

Rose May had a pretty damn traumatic experience during the Frenton Rebellion, yet I never seem to touch upon it in AG. This is me attempting to -- I feel like Duff's at times intimidating, emotionless manner may be enough to set her off. Duff was likely in his twenties when shit went down, so he'd remember the story of the little girl, once it got around. And I would not be surprised if it was that story that gave him another push to abandon high-class society.

Feel free to comment and give me tips. I don't have PTSD myself so I'm writing based on what it feels like it would be, to me.

breezeshadow: BRAIN PROBLEMS ICON (BrokenBrainGoldfish)
My circadian rhythm has decided to fuck everything again, and after a few weeks of waking up at 7AM, then a few more weeks waking up at 6AM, this morning I woke up at 5-fucking-AM. NP recommended upping the trazadone and I'll be leaving work early tomorrow (did so today as well, or tried) to try and convince the dumbassery to go away, thanks.

Been trying to get back into writing regularly, but seems I'm at a rough point in AG. Here you all are anyway:

TW for spousal abuse )

Rose May is a one-track record and she ain't gonna skip because you're going to Frenton.

On that sleep-deprived note, will try to get a bit more writing tonight. We shall see.

breezeshadow: It's a wolverine, hey! (Default)
Went to a "Shut Up and Write!" meetup for the first time in a very long time, and found it productive -- wrote nearly 2K words in two hours!

Here, have an excerpt:

Welen is a really weird place )

Rezten was originally based off of Lindblum from Final Fantasy IX, and sometimes it's really hard for me to forget that it is NOT a castle within a castle with magical steampunk flying things. So sometimes I have to worldbuild.

breezeshadow: TEA TIMES ICON (ALLtheTea)
First, health update: my knee is better. Today I may have accidentally undone a lot of the healing by trying to do too much at once, but once my laundry is dry in about thirty minutes I'll be forcing myself to flop my ass permanently at my computer or on the couch.

Second, for those of you considering publishing work or just having fail organizational skills, I highly recommend Scrivener. This neat little program allows you to keep all of your writing for projects in one place. It comes with a full trial for 30 NONCONSECUTIVE (!) days. It took me over a year to get through the trial and I couldn't imagine going back to using just WordPad, so I got it for the $40 license. Now when I write AG, I can have previous revision chapters right alongside what I'm working on, or the previous chapters, etc, without having four or five WordPad documents open. Overall a win-win.

And now, writing excerpt:

Really, all Rose May and Co. do is drink tea and contemplate shit )

Hopefully more writing today, but I've been addicted to Sims again so we'll see.

breezeshadow: BRAIN PROBLEMS ICON (BrokenBrainGoldfish)
I've been having "oh god, have I lost the desire to write, will I abandon all of my writings after losing faith in them?!" crazy pants thoughts, so I loaded up AG again.

This is crap writing but shouldn't have any triggers at least )

I really need to go through this again and add helpful things like introspection and complex sentences, but I thought I'd share what I was working on.

Also, just an odd side note that relates. I've tried very hard to have other languages be at an absolute minimum in my work. After all, this isn't Earth, so things like English, German, Arabic, etc. don't truly exist. However, you may have noticed that some singular words -- such as vampire terms, or Batuuli's poor Ubiquitous -- are sprinkled with Earth words, like simba (Swahili for "lion"). Some Arebian countries have silly German names like Baumland ("Tree Land"), and the translator's name is EXTREMELY German.

So, just this once, I decided to use my own German so I had something for Duff to be saying, rather than saying "Rose May heard a foreign language" over and over. But I really want my work to be easily translatable, which is why I keep stuff like this to a minimum. Once I feel more comfortable in this story again, I'll likely edit it out so I don't have full phrases in Earth languages.

And as you can see, Duff has a low tolerance for bullshit, haha.

breezeshadow: It's a wolverine, hey! (Default)
Okay, it isn't really. But with how I write him, sometimes I wonder.

Hafstra's role at the moment is BE UTTERLY CRAZY MAN )

I'm not too pleased with this scene, mostly because I don't like using my vampires as deus ex machinas (Mahli would probably make more sense here, but I imagined Nur doing it, so there it is). In the last draft, this scene happened upon Rose May's first meeting with Hafstra, where Rheanna was there to provide the translation for "my wife". But somehow I forgot to have Rose May ask why Hafstra was in Welen in the first place; instead they just talked about him being arrested and boring shit like that.

So yeah, may end up rewriting those scenes so this can go in its proper place. Let me know what you think, though.
breezeshadow: Is it not adorable? (PumaKitten)
I've managed to get myself what is either strep throat or laryngitis (or perhaps some horror mix of the two), which is pretty great since I'm supposed to go to the dentist tomorrow. I'm hoping some food and tea will at least bring my voice partially back, and I'm hoping by some magical powers that this completely clears up by tomorrow.

It probably won't since my immune system is a shit. In any case, here, have an AG excerpt.

The more I write, the more I add social issues )
breezeshadow: TEA TIMES ICON (ALLtheTea)
First the excerpt. Then I'll explain the subject.

In which we learn about Mahli )

And now, the explanation! It's like behind-the-scenes, except Inception behind-the-scenes since this isn't published yet and... Yeah.

My issue ever since writing modern Mahli has been convincing the reader that, considering his attitude and power, that he still can't take over the world. THis is very difficult considering modern fantasy and just media in general. People who are super powerful compared to others invariably try to take over the world, pose a major safety hazard, whatever.

But the thing is, even with the ability to mind-control twelve people? That still leaves hundreds of thousands of people who could use that opportunity to go after Mahli. Twelve people also is assuming he is not using his telepathy to make up for his severe physical disabilities, which Mahli implies he does with the "manage eight" comment. Mahli's arrogance, stemmed from his special treatment and just growing up with mountain faeries, results in him tending to spy on people's thoughts freely, trying to get an advantage, impress people, etc. This uses up yet more of his power.

If Mahli wanted to get into a fight? He'd most likely pour a lot of energy into removing more of his physical disabilities than he does normally (he still uses a cane). This would be taxing enough that he'd be reduced to likely an average vampire in terms of telepathy, and human officials know how to deal with that kind of power. And as shown in this scene, any magic users would quickly sense shit going down and go in to subdue him.

So in conclusion: Mahli is extremely powerful, but still a human, and a significantly crippled human at that. He is also smart enough to know that even with his awesomeness, an attempt to truly skirt the law would end up with him severely injured or dead.

And so he deals with society and being regarded as a freak due to his physical deformities as best he can. For those who don't know:

Severe physical deformities )

So yes. That's him using telepathy so he can walk more easily, and he still needs the cane. Multiple times in the story he gets sick of it and just floats around, freaking people out XD But to reserve power and not exhaust himself mentally, he usually just sticks with the cane and walking.

I should stop babbling and go to bed but yes. Mahli is one of my favourites for whatever reason. He's just interesting.

breezeshadow: It's a wolverine, hey! (Default)
Seriously, my ability to concentrate has been kind of shit, as has been my ability to keep myself entertained as a result. Regardless, today:

a) I bought eggs from some random guy in the next city over for $4, which is cheaper than Target's organic cagefree eggs. Somehow.

b) I got some writing done:

It took me too long to write the latter half of this scene )

So yeah. Thursday night work had a social event at the Exploratorium in SF. I spent most of it traveling alone, which was honestly a way better way for me to enjoy that type of thing. The only issue is that TW for anxiety symptoms ) I think I missed a tragic amount of interesting things as a result.

I get kind of judgmental when I talk about drunk people. )

Seriously. I've had to be gentle to too many hungover people, and combining that with my overall family's alcoholism, my tolerance for drunken shenanigans is extremely low. They are funny to watch, for me, only to a point, and then I just want to leave.

But yeah. Definitely a place I'll have to visit again.

I'm not really sure what else to talk about; my mother could only wrangle 30min out of me on the phone today, maybe because phones have been on the anxiety list lately as well. Or because she called me and not the other way around. Who knows.

Either way, I feel exhausted despite having no real reason to, so I'm going to try and relax a bit and not guilt myself over not writing enough.

breezeshadow: TEA TIMES ICON (ALLtheTea)
Chapter Two finished; it was way easier since there weren't that many changes to make from the second revision.

Except for Greta's attitude, which is now MUCH more snooty upper-class woman )

Also it's shedding season for Thalia. I can tell because my allergies are PISSED. Dusting the coffee table probably wasn't the smartest idea either. HOpefully OTCs get rid of the tight feeling in my chest.
breezeshadow: TEA TIMES ICON (ALLtheTea)
Shut up and Write Today. Finished the rewrite of Chapter I of AG.

We also got to read excerpts today if we wanted. Here's mine. )

They liked it, said it was funny, so yays.
breezeshadow: AWESOME TIMES ICON (DuckyWEEEEE)
Just a more public, general announcement of yay: I finished the first part of Abandoned Gardens, the novel I hope to publish someday.

I'm not sharing the excerpt publicly because of said hope, but you are welcome to ask me for access if you would like to read it.

So yeah. Tea and Sims to celebrate.
breezeshadow: It's a wolverine, hey! (Default)
Should be asleep. Have words that are floating in my head instead. As if I'd write FORMALLY out of sequence.


"We did our best to get the stable dark and quiet. I still don't understand why she isn't in a hospital, though. She speaks Ubiquitous." The veterinarian frowned as he wiped his hands on a towel that likely would just leave them even dirtier. The horse he had just been treating did not look at him with much sympathy.

"Welcome to Welen. If you have fur, you're clearly just an animal." Gareth looked past the veterinarian; Rose May tried to follow his gaze, and noticed that one of the stables down the row had blankets and towels hanging from any space that was usually open, all but sealing it off. "She's in the one way at the end, I imagine?"

"Horses are a bit unsettled by her, and she seems to just HATE them. Says something about them smelling awful." The man shrugged, smiling softly. "I could relate to that. But why are you here to see her?"

"Legal business. No not about her, last I checked demons don't need immigration papers." Gareth sighed at the veterinarian's baffled stare, doing what Rose May could tell was his absolute best not to sneer and snarl. "About a case of ours. Hafstra Dagrun, you may have--"

"The demi doctor? What does she have to do with-- You know what, never mind. I'm too busy to be dragged into a court case." The doctor hung the towel up on an aging rack. "She's likely awake by now. You can see her."

He led them down the barn corridor, past various horses who only showed interest once they realized the doctor was not looking for them. Upon reaching the covered stable, Rose May noticed that light could still filter through. The veterinarian took his ring of keys, unlocked the stable door, and pulled it open with a creek. Carefully the two lawyers stepped underneath the blankets.

Then the vet closed the door just as Rose May spotted the being inside, and she wished she had an easier way out than pushing away blankets and clambering over wood.

She noticed the demon's claws first -- the front ones were thick and long, but blunt at the ends, with a few damaged at the tips. The back ones were not quite as long, but sharp, as were the demon's teeth with she yawned upon their arrival. Her head was vaguely cat-like, but the snout was too wide, the nose fleshy and twitching in their direction. Her legs looked stocky even when she was curled up, though she made up for it with length and weight. Long tufts of fur were raised and stiff near her ears, shoulders, and on her feet. Her eyes were small, focused vaguely in their direction -- Rose May was not sure she could see them that well, but suspected their scents gave the demon everything she needed to know.

Then there were the wounds -- gashes and cuts seemed to cover the demon's legs and upper body, with a towel tossed over one on her neck stained red and possibly still leaking. It looked like she had been hacked at with a sword, but Rose May could not imagine how that would have possibly happened. Swords had fallen out of fashion ages ago, and besides she was not sure even especially drunk idiots would go after a demon with them.

The demon's tail tossed to the other side, long tuft at the end mixing with the dirt of the stall. She had been provided a blanket that somehow was still not long enough, even though it was made for horses.

"'Legal business.'" Her voice was gravely, deep, and thick with a strange accent; Rose May could barely make out the words, but they were definitely in a human language. "Ground walkers and your odd habits, yes?"

"I apologize for our poor manners. We should have spoken to you directly right away but he was concerned for your health." Gareth took a step forward and knelt down to the demon's level. "I would greet you in your ways but I am not versed in them. I am Gareth Haeden."

"You would not like our greetings." The demon stretched then, and rose suddenly; though her shoulder was barely higher than two feet, her bulk made her seem far larger. She extended her head toward Gareth and sniffed at him cautiously, keeping weight off the more mauled of her front legs. "Anca, Gareth Haeden. Why are you here?"

"I am a lawyer representing a man who has been attacked, and I believe you were witness to this fight." At Anca's blank look, Gareth sighed. "A man was attacked by someone else. I am trying to help him. To do this I need to know what happened."

"You could help him more by banishing who attacked him and leaving me to my sleep." The demon then yawned in Gareth's face, but the lawyer seemed nonplussed; Rose May imagined this was not the worst thing that had happened to him, or even close to the most frightening.

"While I whole-heartedly agree, our system is not so sensible, and so I need to gather proof he was attacked by this man." Gareth paused. "The man I am representing is... Kind of half-bird. Does that sound familiar?"

"Bird?" Anca looked blankly at him once more. "I do recall an odd ground dweller, who did not smell anything like most of the ones I have met. But I do not know anything about these 'birds'."

Gareth waved her confusion away with a quick gesture that Anca watched intently. "It's probably him. Would you be willing to talk with us?"

"I thought I already was." Rose May swore that the demon smiled as she sat down awkwardly, tail curling around her feet. "Or at least to you. Your companion is too busy being frightened, though she has calmed some from the initial surprise."

"What?" Gareth turned around and stared at Rose May; she would have returned the look, but she was too busy being impressed by Anca. The man sighed. "Rose, get over here and introduce yourself at least."

She would have been encouraged by Gareth if she did not suspect that talking to things that may seriously maul him was more of a hobby for him than an avoided occurrence; yet she still walked over and sat down beside him, spreading her skirt as best she could to avoid the dirt. From what little anyone knew, demons had no interest in harming humans, and seemed to mostly prefer to avoid them. How Anca had ended up in a stable, then, was anyone's guess.

That had to wait until later, however, when it no doubt became Gareth's next project.

"Rose May Pursa. Pardon my rudeness."

"Rudeness? No. Sensibility." And then the demon grinned at them, baring two rows of sharp teeth. "So then. Let us continue our talk. Which of the many fights I saw do you claim to want your 'help' for?"


Bed now .
breezeshadow: It's a wolverine, hey! (>.>Soldier)
I hate when I'm writing something and I can TELL I'm going to have to revise it. Like... The prose reads like a movie script, the emotions just don't feel right, the entire thing just isn't in the mood and setting it's supposed to have. Poor Hafstra, your final scene is supposed to feel stronger than this. I think I'll back away from it and let it simmer in my head.

Also. Morningstar Farms meatballs: meh. THe flavour is too strong and the texture is all wrong. But Morningstar Farms veggie dogs? The flavour is just strong enough and the texture is perfect. I suppose it IS easier to mimic horrified processed shit. Oh well. Omnom!

Here: Have some Atmosphere )

So yeah. Think I'll play some video games now. And hope my mouth stops hurting.

breezeshadow: AWESOME TIMES ICON (DuckyWEEEEE)
In an unusual turn of events, I feel really anxious for company right now -- not lonely, as is common with me, but instead just a kind of unease that says "I need a human. I need a human to talk to."

Also you know you have problems when you think to yourself "I wish I had mania so I could be productive." It doesn't work that way, brain.

So here, readers: have an excerpt from Abandoned Gardens in which Rose May's life goes to shit.

Apparently I Write Emotion Well? )
breezeshadow: WRITING TIMES ICON (BellaGUC)
So I'm doing my best to keep new AG and old AG relatively in-line with each other. I know that's hard to believe.

Thus, when this new meeting with Tadhg came up, I looked up the one in the first draft to get some ideas, because I honestly wasn't sure where the conversation should go.

And in the first draft Tadhg is talking about wanting to give demis equal rights?!

Just... Bzuh? What? What?

Instead he's bitching about gay people. Again, what? Tadhg... I doubt he approves of homosexuals but he's not going to fucking bitch about them, so long as they're human and don't interfere with his plans. Or flirt with him, if they're male.

No, Tadhg hates demis. So what the hell was happening in that first draft?

It was silly. And made me have to think my way through this scene, which my brain really didn't want to do (I finally got an idea. It only took all night. Brain, what is your problem lately?)

So I'm writing and writing and then suddenly... I realized one of the things that has been bothering me about my prose. I think Shan's comments on my porn-fic (I almost kept this is as just "porn" and then went no, brain, no one else would realize I was just being really weirdly humorous) helped me realize that uh, I was sick of the dialogue because I wasn't recording Rose May's thoughts about the dialogue.

Herp a derp.

I mean I can't write as much as I did in the first draft without breaking up the flow -- and the fast dialogue flow is very important for some of these conversations, where the characters are not slowing down to think, or stutter, or wonder. But that doesn't mean I can't put in a little blip about Rose May's opinions.

Again, herp a derp.

Also I think the anxiety has latched onto writing. When I try to do it, I get anxious and think I suck. When I don't do it, I get anxious and think I suck. When I'm doing it (this is starting to sound hilarious to my immature, 1AM brain), I get anxious because I feel like I don't like it as much as I did.

Really not pleased with this. Perhaps it's a good thing that I've set writing as a Health Month goal next month. Hopefully it'll be more successful than the reading goal this month was (I kept it for next month. I will not fail!)

But yeah. Just random musings.

Oh and someone posted on my Twitter that I was "talkative tonight" and of course my first thought was "THIS IS WRONG AND NOT ME I MUST STOP TALKING". Ever get the feeling like people can't say anything to you without you twisting it into disapproval? Or is that just me.

It's probably me.

On to writing/LoL/sleep maybe.

breezeshadow: WRITING TIMES ICON (BellaGUC)
Title: Abandoned Gardens
Genre: Fantasy
The Troops: The Gang
Status: In the making
Rating: PG-13, just in case
Summary: These are snippets from the novel, individual scenes sorted into individual cuts. They are what I consider exemplary of the novel and its style.


Chapter One: Nur's Debut )


Duff Mother Hens, and Awkward Hilarity )


Farmlife )


In Which BAR BRAWL!! )

Yep. I write a strange novel.


breezeshadow: It's a wolverine, hey! (Default)

August 2016

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