The Tea Tree

Magical disappearing act again, I know. It's what I do.

I didn't win NaNoWriMo, but that's no shock at all. My writer's block has been severe and writing every day doesn't help -- eventually I just get to a point where the whole thing grinds to a halt. I think I got halfway though? So a respectable number of words. I'm actually going to try and do some more writing because I planned a writing trip in the Adirondacks next month and I want to be in top shape for that.

Nothing tonight though as I have a migraine that really, REALLY doesn't want to leave. It needs to since I'm driving to CT tomorrow but anyway. Context for this scene: Lilith was attacked by a vampire, and Gareth and Rose May are representing her supposed attacker since he's falsely accused. They are visiting Lilith in the hospital as Rose May is hoping she can sense the actual criminal through the girl.

It goes poorly.

( TW for vibes bordering on child sexual abuse )

I think that I've been a bit secluded on here, which I've been a bit (okay, a lot) in real life as well. So forcing myself to post an update.

First off: the health news I got last month was confirmation that I have an autoimmune disorder, Sjögren's Syndrome. The shit clinic I went to in college found this originally, did not tell me, and then put it on my health record. This was a nasty surprise when I got rejected for insurance, before Obamacare stopped that especially shitty insurance practice. I kind of ignored it because I didn't show the classic symptoms, but in early October I had a very nasty week where my joints hurt horribly, I was exhausted, and furthermore I couldn't really THINK.

I went to the doctor since my knee at that point had been hurting for a full week, and she offered to check for rheumatoid. I mentioned the diagnosis from two years ago, and sure enough: it's there, chilling out, because my body things chronic illnesses are Pokemon.

So far it hasn't done much -- Sjogren's isn't usually diagnosed until people are in their 40s, so I have many years before me to try and kick it in the shins and keep it from getting too severe. Right now my joints hurt horribly, but I think it's my hormones punishing me for not getting pregnant. How dare I, truly.

On the writing front, I am participating in NaNoWriMo, despite this month being crazy for me work-wise. Tonight for instance no writing will be happening despite me being behind a day, because I am simply too exhausted. I am rewriting the second part of Abandoned Gardens, and right now at about 17K (so about 3K behind).

On the life front, one of the top reasons I'm exhausted is not work, but my brain being apeshit. Please enjoy this acid-trip-without-the-acid dream, created by my lovely brain instead of letting me sleep restfully last night, as posted on my FB:

"Okay, really brain? I dream that my family adopted a Basset Hound named Anna, except Anna was apparently some freakish Basset/hawk hybrid considering she suddenly flew off, grabbed a freakin' VULTURE, and began dropping it from a high height to kill it? You realize that seagulls do that to shit like crabs to crack them open, and I don't think it works on things that can, you know, FLY. Also why did the vulture turn into a peacock? And why the FUCK did I then dream that some evil asshat was trying to kill people/take over the world and locked me outside my own house in like, 20 degree weather?

I want a new brain."

Truly. The vulture part was truly gruesome; I will spare you all the details because no one should have to know, and I'd rather just forget about it all. Though raze, I will love you forever if you draw the bonkers bassethawk.

That, in a rambling not-nutshell, is how things are going here. I am actually going to tuck into bed early because right now it hurts to sit, and I know that by tomorrow most of this stupid "How dare you not get pregnant, you must be punished" shit will be gone and I can be a human again.

Hope you've all been well.

Tschuess.

Total words: 12344.

To celebrate, have a paragraph: "The woman stared at the list a moment more, then put a small basket around her neck. Then, she suddenly morphed; her face elongated into a snout, whiskers sprouting from it, while triangular ears rose from her head. She felt gracefully onto all fours as her legs and arms bent, hands and feet shrinking. Soon, a large black cat nearing the size of a large dog stood where the woman had, escaping from the remains of her clothing before leaping up into the rafters of the stall."

In between writing I've been cleaning the house. It seems that I fell into a minor depression that caused me to not even realize how bad the house needed a cleaning until I was hating on myself for letting it get dirty. So the toilet and shower/tub have been cleaned, the kitchen sink was cleaned yesterday but could use another go, the stove top is cleaned with burners in progress, I tidied up the floor INCLUDING putting my laundry away, and right now am waiting for the kitchen floor to dry after mopping it.

Then I'm going to make cookies and ice cream to bring to work tomorrow.

That's about it here.

Tschuess.

Last-minute, partially due to friends and coworkers, probably mostly due to OCD, I decided to write a whole new novel for NaNoWriMo. This is the Tegre/Kader novel, tentatively named "Friendship in Winter", and the first sentence is this:

"Tegre felt that he knew nothing in the world – and furthermore, that was the only thing he felt."

Wrote 3189 words today. Hope I can keep that kind of pace up for a while so when my motivation crashes, I don't have to work so hard to make it :P

Now to reward myself with games and stuff.

Tschuess.