breezeshadow: WRITING TIMES ICON (BellaGUC)
What the hell-ass is this making me anxious for, ANYWAY.

So last year I went to a few writing Meetups, and was surprised when people showed interest in Friendship in Winter. As I posted on FB, I really wasn't expected anyone to be interested in a novel about two deeply messed up people.

So instead of AG, I've been working on that when I do get the muse, because AG and I aren't speaking to each other right now. It's not AG, it's me: untreated ADHD has turned that thing into a monstrosity and I really need to just sit down and figure out the plot and subplots. Friendship in Winter is so much easier because there really ISN'T a plot. It's just two mentally ill people trying to survive.

I almost started a paragraph with "So" again, sheesh. Here's the rewritten bath scene in the beginning of FIW. TW for depression I guess? It's Terry and Kader, don't know what to tell you.

Oops, we ruined the public bath )
breezeshadow: It's a wolverine, hey! (Default)
Winter won't stop coming, and neither will Conan's brash behaviour. )

Just a quick, rusty story after a loooong time of not writing. I love Kader, and her interactions with Conan are fun. She, like me, doesn't like kids, but unlike me, her reaction to him is to be her typical self, swearing and all. Sometimes, this gets her and Conan into trouble.

This story presents such a different Kader from usual, damn -- one who has lived with people who love her for a few years, and one who has had a meaningful job and life for what might be the first time. Doesn't stop her from being a swearing grumpy lady, though. She'll be that until the day she dies, and if there is an afterlife, probably afterward, too.

Will try to finish this and tidy it up later.

Tschuess.
breezeshadow: BRAIN PROBLEMS ICON (BrokenBrainGoldfish)
I've been playing Sims this weekend, particularly Kader, Tegre, and Eilis once they are in Arebe. They've been making me smile; Kader keeps acting very much as she does in the stories. Caring for the kids even though she hates them, getting pissy at anyone who compliments her, and during one hilarious incident, she slapped adult Conan, then beat the crap out of him. I still have NO clue what he did.

It gave me a bit of inspiration, though unfortunately it's pretty crap so far.

Six-year-old Conan vs. mid-to-late thirties Kader, go! )

So yeah. Apologies it's crap. Hopefully it'll get a bit better as I work on it.

Tschuess.
breezeshadow: BRAIN PROBLEMS ICON (BrokenBrainGoldfish)
(Putting an edit at the top: I AM OKAY. I just identify with Kader a lot, and so writing her seemed like a good way to be creative and also get some of my anxiety/stress out. My mind is in a far better place than hers is. <3 )

TW for severe depression, anxiety, suicidal implications, self-harm )

Hilarious typos from this:

Judgingment
Deople

They kind of kill the mood, I think.

Anyway, for [community profile] origfic_bingo, space "falling apart". Because when Kader starts to really go downhill, she basically shatters.

Thankfully, Tegre and Eilis are able to pull her out of the depression. While she's never quite better, she gets pretty close to her version of normal.

List of things to add to this so it's complete:

- Kader looking at a letter, hinting at where she is going
- "Blank" throughout the second half. Incorporate into the last sentence.
- Check that I didn't reuse too many metaphors, and clean up cliches

And now to try and relax before heading to bed.

Tschuess.
breezeshadow: ANXIETY TIMES ICON (FeedbackHell)
I need to write other characters besides Kader. )

It just feels like a Kader kind of night, and tonight she's 18-years-old, fresh out of graduating WAY early from the studies portion of medical school, and ready to kick some ass, take names, and maybe perform crude 1800s surgery.
breezeshadow: Is it not adorable? (PumaKitten)
I am alive. No I am not feeling that much better. It doesn't help that eBay Car's brakes partially failed and I got a 2011 car instead that I need help with the insurance for, and feel like I am such a dumbass for getting a car that new even though I know it will last forever.

But I did not come here to vent because at this stage in depression, I feel like I shouldn't, because it's stupid and no one cares. Instead have some excerpts from Friendship in Winter (completed NaNoWriMo with it at 53510 words) and a story for a bingo card.

FIW Excerpt: The Old Home. TW for mentions of abuse, suicide, violence, general awful )

Two paragraphs that exemplify my wry style of writing )

Last from FIW: the gryphons )

Written today for the bingo story. Need to think up wedding vows before it can be finished. TW for mentions of homophobia. Hari mistook a paragraph of this for GRRM, somehow. )
breezeshadow: AWESOME TIMES ICON (DuckyWEEEEE)
I was not aware this existed, so I'll do the first three days in one post.

Day 1 - Have you participated in NaNoWriMo before? If so, which years and what end result? If not (or even if so, for that matter), what’s your connection to writing? Why do you want to participate this year?

Yes. Way back when, in high school I believe, I tried to participate in NaNoWriMo. I ran out of motivation and failed miserably. This was around 2006. I'm hoping this year will be a victory.

Day 2 - What’s the title of your story? Why did you choose the name you did?

The name is "Friendship in Winter". This novel, ultimately, is about struggling with your past, and trying to find happiness among the shit that is the world. For the two main characters, it is not about finding your soulmate, or saving the world -- it is about saving themselves. The winter in the title represents not the season, but the cold, dark, depression that is their pasts and their lives -- and trying to make it through it.

Day 3 - Pick one of your female characters. Introduce your readers to her, from her point of view and her words only.

I am Kader. Yes, I am a woman, and yes I am a doctor, trust me, you will get fucking used to it eventually. No I do not usually wear dresses, just in case you haven't noticed, they're not good for heavy work, and again, doctor. If you have a problem with it then fuck off. I said an oath that I would save people and I will do my best to do that, unlike practically every other doctor in this fucking empire. You want comforting leeches and to die a horrible death? Go find someone else.

---

Yep. Onward to making breakfast, writing, and showering; I was going to go out today to a write-in, but I'm feeling REALLY horrible about how dirty the house is and want to fix it. Depression is no excuse for an unkempt house.

Tschuess.

NaNoWriMo

Nov. 1st, 2012 10:17 pm
breezeshadow: TEA TIMES ICON (ALLtheTea)
Last-minute, partially due to friends and coworkers, probably mostly due to OCD, I decided to write a whole new novel for NaNoWriMo. This is the Tegre/Kader novel, tentatively named "Friendship in Winter", and the first sentence is this:

"Tegre felt that he knew nothing in the world – and furthermore, that was the only thing he felt."

Wrote 3189 words today. Hope I can keep that kind of pace up for a while so when my motivation crashes, I don't have to work so hard to make it :P

Now to reward myself with games and stuff.

Tschuess.

Sharing

Oct. 8th, 2012 11:19 pm
breezeshadow: AWESOME TIMES ICON (DuckyWEEEEE)
Despite the fact that I posted a story two days ago, my brain is convinced that I am slacking, playing too much Sims, and need to post something RIGHT NOW.

So here, have something I wrote yesterday.

Title: Sharing
Genre: Fantasy
The Troops: Tegre, Eilis, Kader, & Conan
Status: Complete, spellchecked, briefly reviewed
Rating: PG-13 because Kader XD
Summary: It's a cold winter's day, and this household is spending it with a contagious illness.
Prompt: [community profile] cottoncandy_bingo Person & loved one(s) injured/sick simultaneously
Author's Notes: I'm really starting to like Eilis as a character, and I made her in the Sims and got a better idea of how she looks (she's gorgeous in a "I pretty myself up in a way you couldn't do in a week" way. It makes her that much more frightening). Also this was a great way to establish how this household functions. Also it's almost sickeningly "d'awww". Enjoy?

TW for stomach flu, mention of vomit, a toddler, and the most adorable three-person relationship ever )
breezeshadow: Is it not adorable? (PumaKitten)
Bad brain spell, tonight. So I inked the drawing for my friend, loaded up Sims, and typed this up on my iPad:

TW for disturbing imagery, war imagery, and uh, loss of limb? )

The _____ is for the name of the doctor, which I have forgotten and will look up later. Obviously, this scene is not finished yet since there isn't much comfort in there, but I imagine it will be pretty short.

Now to sleep.

Tschuess.
breezeshadow: It's a wolverine, hey! (Default)
Originally posted here over a year ago. I usually don't go back to short stories, but I <3 these two, so yeah.

It's gotten pretty long (about 6.2K words), so have some excerpts.

TW for hints at SI, some casual sexism and classism )

---

Sexism, yay! )

---

Tegre is all D: about this journey )

---

Blankets and >:| from Tegre, TW for mention of rape )

---

Last but not least, these two are SO BAD at hugging )

So yeah. I need to make a lot of edits here and there, but otherwise, completed a short story, yay.

Now to sleep. If you want the whole thing to read and/or critique, let me know and I'll send it over.
breezeshadow: Is it not adorable? (PumaKitten)
Trigger for depression )

To try and get rid of this shit, I bring you one of my characters having a more miserable time than I am:

TW for mention of sexual assault. Kader makes most people's lives look pleasant. Except maybe Trent's )

---

I hope if I keep writing this I can give Kader all of my emo and then get over myself. If only it worked that way, hm?

Tschuess.
breezeshadow: AWESOME TIMES ICON (DuckyWEEEEE)
On Arebe... )

On Malanee... )

Little blurbs that came to me. Tegre encouraging Kader to go back to doctoring, and then the rewrite of Rose May and Meander's house being burned down. This time, everyone lives (except maybe Tadhg. He may be sort of screwed if someone doesn't pull Nur off). As for why Meander didn't just have Nur teleport them all out -- that would have been pretty tiring for Nur, and he had a feeling the arsonist could be found by someone dedicated enough to search (Almas, I imagine, is out somewhere, otherwise he'd be helping). Meander, being very focused on getting his wife and kids out of the house, didn't want to divert his attention to it, and unfortunately cannot teleport (if he'd been properly trained in time, he'd be actually be better at it than Nur).

Also: that vampire insult came to me and I just HAD to put it somewhere.

And I'm pretty sure Rose May eventually just breaks down into sobbing because my god, if I saw my house burning, I'd do the same thing.

Sleep time.

Edit - I just realized that Rose May and Meander's twins have the most traumatizing babyhood ever. First their house is burned down, then their city is BOMBED. Those kids are going to have such bad PTSD and barely remember WHY.

Edit Again - I just realized without context this may make Rose May seem like a Helpless Woman (TM). For those unfamiliar with my work: Rose May has asthma during the 1800s. Meander was helping her out and getting her out first because he knew she would collapse and die really fas. He was seriously planning to go with her to get their kids, but when he saw the roof was already going, he decided to get her out and just get some severe burns for the sake of all of them surviving.

The NEXT time their house is on fire (... Yes, it happens again. See "traumatizing babyhood for twins"), Rose May gets to the kids faster than Meander. Basically: Meander and Rose May are both BAMFs who will never, ever sleep the night again. >.>

Tschuess.
breezeshadow: WRITING TIMES ICON (BellaGUC)
Title: The Doctor's Note [pending, I swore I had something better...]
Genre: Fantasy
The Troops: Kader, Tegre
Status: Complete and mostly looked over
Rating: PG-13, because oh god some of the imagery. Also it's Kader talking, we know there are F-bombs.
Summary: When your world explodes, can you find your purpose? AKA "Another Invasion Story"
Prompt: "stand up and be counted"
Author's Notes: I lost track of where I was going with this. Whoops? Also cross-posted here: Click!

---

This stupid invasion, man, it sucks )

The Cold

Jun. 5th, 2011 10:45 pm
breezeshadow: WRITING TIMES ICON (BellaGUC)
Pending Title: The Cold
Genre: Fantasy
The Troops: Kader and Tegre
Status: Incomplete, only Part I, very rough
Rating: 13+ for foul language. Come on, guys, it's Kader.
Summary: Rezten sucks. Retzen sucks even more in the dead of a Welen winter with a sick soldier.

----

In Which Tegre Sneezes a Lot )

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