Kind Thoughts & Words

[breezeshadow]

I usually don't post this kind of stuff, for various reasons.

My depression has returned. It's very quiet, sneaky depression right now. The kind that goes "Hey. Hey you don't belong here. No one cares about you. Might as well just off yourself." That may sound as subtle as a brick (fingers say "brick of hammers", wait what?), but it feels quiet. So quiet I didn't realize it was really HERE until I realized I had lost all interest in food.

Holidays usually aren't a sad period for me, but so I'm not sure whether this is situational or the Zoloft breaking through. Either way, it's very much no bueno, and I'm doing my best to watch it like a hawk.

In short: I could use some kind thoughts and words right now, because my brain is ebbing out the feeling of alone. It's a charmer.

In happier news: finished NaNoWriMo, workplace is letting most of the employees have an extended holiday vacation, and though the work holiday party was mostly sad for me quite a few people were happy I was there and gave me hugs and talked to me.

Hopefully I can post some writing excerpts later when I feel more up to it.

Sorry for the blah boring post.

Tschuess.

Comments

[raze]

Congrats on NaNo, though I am very sorry to hear that depression is hooking its talons into you. Let me know if there is any way I can help, yeah? I know I've been a second-rate friend at best of late, but this post concerns me and I want you to be okay.

[breezeshadow]

Just being around should be enough; I feel better today, but I know that means nothing in the long term re: depression. Good news is my appointment with the NP is on Thursday so I can mention it and see what her suggestions are.

Also your icon seems pretty awesome for the sentiments. "Depression? BRING IT BRO I CAN TAKE IT" XD

[alee_grrl]

That is for me the scariest form of depression, that kind that kind of sneaks up on you and before you know it has become completely unsubtle. And you are left going "Wait, where did you come from? Where were the warning signs I normally get before your whispers turn into screams?"

I am very glad you are here, and glad to know you even just the tiniest bit. I cannot do much other than send good thoughts and virtual hugs, but please know that you have those in huge amounts from me right now.

[breezeshadow]

Thank you for the kind words and yeah, I forgot about this kind of depression and it sucks. I've seen it around for a while and I thought I was monitoring it, then realized no, it slipped under my depression radar. Even though I thought the depression radar was active. *headdesk*

I appreciate the good thoughts and virtual hugs. Appointment with NP is on Thursday so hopefully she has some suggestions and/or an attack plan.

[alee_grrl]

I hope the NP is able to help. <3