breezeshadow | (no subject)

Someone asked Hari out, and I nearly started crying at work. Somehow held that in until home, when I felt depressed and was trying to get reassurance from Hari that I wasn't a horrible miserable person that made him move on so quickly. Then he told me he had just been lonely.

That's when I began sobbing. And couldn't fucking STOP.

And I couldn't think of anyone I could turn to besides calling up Hari. Thankfully, though it took a while, talking to him was finally able to calm me down (he was kind enough to stay up until like 2AM his time until I was okay), though I ended up having three separate sobbing episodes.

I just... I can't take the shit that is going on, meds don't seem to be helping, and I'm just so scared, so scared I'm going to lose everyone and be alone forever.

Not going to say anymore about that because I can feel that if I go on, I'll just start crying again. And I HATE crying with a passion.

In other news: if I don't call a therapist in the next week since they never got back to me, smack me. I just can't handle this alone any longer.