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breezeshadowTraffic on the highway to IKEA? Annoying but whatever.
95lb dresser, need help getting it down? No big deal, it happens. Needing help from a random sympathetic stranger to get it to my apartment? No big deal, just shows that my town is not full of the evil people everyone claims exists.
Can opener won't open can and keeps getting jammed? Attempts to use the churchkey to slice away pieces of can stuck to lid result in can splashing and soup going everywhere?
"STUPID FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT HANDHELD CAN OPENER WHY DO THESE THINGS EXIST THEY NEVER WORK! *wipes up kitchen, tries again with hand can opener, fails, throws thing onto ground and then kicks it*"
I lose my temper over things that matter.
(Though seriously, this thing ALWAYS jams, it's once in a while that I get it to work. WHy do these pieces of shit exist? All they do is make one pop, and then just sit there while the wheel rotates uselessly. EVERY single one of that design that I've found does this. What the hell is the point?)
A part of me half-hopes I broke it because then I'd have an excuse for the OCD to let me buy a new one, but it's solid metal, I imagine it's fine. Which means there will be another day of Me vs. Butterfly Can Opener.
Joy.
Edit - To make this seem a bit less like I'm slowly going over the edge, here, have something cute:
I want to cuddle it.
95lb dresser, need help getting it down? No big deal, it happens. Needing help from a random sympathetic stranger to get it to my apartment? No big deal, just shows that my town is not full of the evil people everyone claims exists.
Can opener won't open can and keeps getting jammed? Attempts to use the churchkey to slice away pieces of can stuck to lid result in can splashing and soup going everywhere?
"STUPID FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT HANDHELD CAN OPENER WHY DO THESE THINGS EXIST THEY NEVER WORK! *wipes up kitchen, tries again with hand can opener, fails, throws thing onto ground and then kicks it*"
I lose my temper over things that matter.
(Though seriously, this thing ALWAYS jams, it's once in a while that I get it to work. WHy do these pieces of shit exist? All they do is make one pop, and then just sit there while the wheel rotates uselessly. EVERY single one of that design that I've found does this. What the hell is the point?)
A part of me half-hopes I broke it because then I'd have an excuse for the OCD to let me buy a new one, but it's solid metal, I imagine it's fine. Which means there will be another day of Me vs. Butterfly Can Opener.
Joy.
Edit - To make this seem a bit less like I'm slowly going over the edge, here, have something cute:
I want to cuddle it.
