(no subject)
Mar. 25th, 2012 02:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
breezeshadowI feel horribly twitchy today -- my arms feel a bit shaky and like they haven't quite figured out how computers and typing work, and I just feel so restless.
It doesn't help that my brain keeps yelling at me that I'm pregnant. I'm graduating with a Master's degree in Biomedical Engineering in May, and yet my anxiety hasn't yet grasped how babies are made. I had an ultrasound last Monday for unrelated things and yet my brain thinks I must have gotten pregnant SINCE then. If I end up coming home one day with pregnancy tests despite being not even one-month late on my period yet, we all know what did it.
This is why I'd love to just be spayed -- I've this kind of random phobia nonsense since HIGH SCHOOL. You know, back when I didn't even have a boyfriend, or had even KISSED anyone yet. I swear my brain thinks I can get pregnant by breathing in boy fumes.
I'm also worrying about graduation weekend months in advance. Something is going to go wrong, my brain KNOWS IT.
I also woke up this morning with a headache so awful I actually cringed and had to sit still for a moment before I could get up. Since a banana and water helped, I think it's a mix of dehydration and allergies. Going to try and be conscious of my water intake.
Goals for today: finish entering lab data into Excel and hopefully analyze it, so I can meet with advisors and figure out how to move forward. Read Ch1 of TLtS if my anxiety focuses. And don't buy pregnancy tests.
It doesn't help that my brain keeps yelling at me that I'm pregnant. I'm graduating with a Master's degree in Biomedical Engineering in May, and yet my anxiety hasn't yet grasped how babies are made. I had an ultrasound last Monday for unrelated things and yet my brain thinks I must have gotten pregnant SINCE then. If I end up coming home one day with pregnancy tests despite being not even one-month late on my period yet, we all know what did it.
This is why I'd love to just be spayed -- I've this kind of random phobia nonsense since HIGH SCHOOL. You know, back when I didn't even have a boyfriend, or had even KISSED anyone yet. I swear my brain thinks I can get pregnant by breathing in boy fumes.
I'm also worrying about graduation weekend months in advance. Something is going to go wrong, my brain KNOWS IT.
I also woke up this morning with a headache so awful I actually cringed and had to sit still for a moment before I could get up. Since a banana and water helped, I think it's a mix of dehydration and allergies. Going to try and be conscious of my water intake.
Goals for today: finish entering lab data into Excel and hopefully analyze it, so I can meet with advisors and figure out how to move forward. Read Ch1 of TLtS if my anxiety focuses. And don't buy pregnancy tests.
no subject
Date: 2012-03-28 04:02 pm (UTC)How's the anxiety, the car, and your research? Also: still not psychologically stable enough to buy tickets, but tomorrow I will be making decisions (if current thoughts hold out, in the positive). I'm still bouncy excited over the idea of getting out there and being able to express stupid amounts of pride in your accomplishments, which I probably have no right to do but will anyway. *laugh*
no subject
Date: 2012-03-30 05:08 am (UTC)Car: :< :< :'<
Anxiety: Oh god let's not go there. Especially since it's teamed up with depression.
And: dude, I think you have a ride to take pride. I'm not sure WHy I think that, but there you go!