Guilting Myself is a Past Time of Mine

So I was watching videos from some liberal-leaning YouTube channel (because humans generally stick to things they agree with) when some ad about animals came up. I stayed to watch it, curious, since it involved legislating for and undercovering animals abused in factory farming situations. It also almost made me cry because this is me.

The organization is Mercy for Animals, which I then checked out because I've never heard of them and suspected a PETA organization. But it seems they're independent, and doing work to encourage a vegetarian/vegan lifestyle.

So then I start reading about the egg and dairy industry.

And I have no idea why I fucking do this, because I know perfectly well the sort of horrible shit that goes down in factory farming. And I could guess just from logic that cagefree, free-range, and organic don't really do jackshit. Because why would a major company like Archer Farms or Eggland, which offers the typical run-of-the-mill battery eggs, somehow offer "cagefree" as well? They sure as hell don't have a random extra pasture, is what I'm saying.

This of course caused the horrible guilt of "I am a terrible person condoning the suffering and death of thousands of animals, I SHOULD BECOME VEGAN OR I'M A MONSTER."

I buy maybe a dozen eggs once a month. Less than that if I'm not making homemade ice cream. I barely used to buy milk at all before the ice cream maker as well. I have to push to drink a gallon a month.

Also the vegan pickings at work are reallllly shoddy. Like, everyday I'd be having the same thing.

And finally I can't manage to gain weight while EATING fatty things like whole milk and eggs. I'm not so sure my metabolism will support me going vegan, especially not while I'm 15lbs underweight.

Furthermore, a lot of the meals I make for myself are actually vegan already (pasta with olive oil, lentils and rice with lemon, etc.) unless I end up adding cheese last-minute.

But I feel bad, guys. This happens every time and it's HARD for me to shake guilt off.

I am tempted to see if I could manage to pull off a vegan ice cream in the ice cream maker but otherwise I'm trying to tell myself that no, going vegan due to some horrible guilt and not because I honestly, truly want to sounds like a terrible idea.

Writing and Dinner Time entry later; feeling honestly anxious this morning and need to get to the bank before work.

Edit - I was so busy being frustrated by barking dogs at the vet next door that I forgot to mention.

I was thinking of compromising to the Guilt Brain with a Vegan Day, sort of like how people do Meatless Mondays. On that such day I would needless to say go completely vegan -- alternatively I may do a "Vegan Weekend" or something. I was just thinking that every bit helps, and that sort of compromise would give me the room to try and gain some weight and eat what I enjoy (ice cream, milk chocolate, etc.) while still trying to make a different. Feel free to give me thoughts on this.

Tschuess.

[Dinner Time] Mini Peach Tarts

I had a busy day on Sunday baking, churning, and cleaning. Unfortunately, the only thing that really went right was the cleaning. Nonetheless, I present...

Mini Peach Tarts

This is another one that my boyfriend found, and I accepted it whole-heartedly. Peaches are delicious after all, and mini peach pies? Yes, please. I didn't have any graham crackers though, so none of those are in it.



The Pepto-Bismol is actually plum ice cream. It had too much sugar :(

And now for the poor tarts. I want to say they were delicious and the greatest use of my peaches.

But no. Even with a homemade, from-scratch pie crust, no. And I know exactly why.

The recipe calls for WAY too much cinnamon and nutmeg. My two peaches actually made twice the amount of tarts the recipe called for, which means I used half the amount of cinnamon and nutmeg the recipe technically wants, and yet the spices completely overpower the peaches. I can barely even taste them, and when I can, it's not a mind-blowing flavour. It doesn't help that I had to cook them for roughly 30 min to get the pie crust to brown, which may have burned the tips of the peaches.

The homemade crust is okay, crispy, not too flavourful but it IS just a crust. The filling? Meh. So meh. Cinnamon and nutmeg are very strong spices, using 1 tsp each of both is so inappropriate. I should have known better.

It MAY be possible to salvage these by significantly lowering the amount of spice (by half at least). It's also possible my peaches just sucked (They were still hard and not ripe/soft after over two weeks of owning them). But honestly I'm so off-put by how it turned out that I don't really want to try it again.

4/10. Sorry peach tarts. Even a sprinkle of salt did nothing.

I MAY be able to manage to wake up in time to make a good breakfast that I could post to here. Until then...

Tschuess.