A Walk around Town, a Sense of Life

Today I feel depressed.

Mainly, I feel alone, unwanted, uncared for, undeserving. The normal jazz.

I decided to go out for a walk to buy some chocolate, stop by the post office. On my way home, I saw someone sleeping on a bus bench. Their wheelchair with a plastic bag full of items was nearby. The blankets looked home-crocheted. I wished that the United States has the system that the UK is implementing, where you can go onto a website and record someone sleeping rough and thus get resources to them.

Then I remember I was heading to Starbucks.

Once in there, I bought whatever seemed like it would be okay sitting out, and also be nourishing -- turned out to be a turkey & swiss sandwich for whatever reason. I bought it, got some napkins, and then rummaged through my pocket for something to write with, to leave a note.

Instead I found the $5 Peet's coffee giftcard that I got months ago and hadn't used. And that's when I went fuck the note, and tucked the card mostly hidden between the sandwich's box and the napkins, and then quietly placed it on their wheelchair.

I still feel pretty depressed and lonely and unloved. But at least I have a home, and a job, and food, and the luxury to have a pet and new clothes and high-quality teas and chocolates.

I don't know if that person will get the sandwich and card, or if it will be taken by some greedy asshole. But if they do, I can only hope they aren't allergic to anything in it, and it lets them keep going forward.

(Also my brain is paranoid that somehow I gave them my credit card number, which, wha? Brains be stupid)

Tschuess.