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Dec. 1st, 2011 07:01 pmI got one hour of sleep last night. I was finishing up a term paper. Not even writing it. Just doing references. Internet crashed around 1:30AM and I drove up to campus. The cleaning crew gave me funny looks when I was still there at 4:30AM, can't say I blame them.
I crawled into bed at 4:45AM but like any good insomniac, I had trouble falling asleep and only half-slept until I got up around 6:30AM because I had to be at class by 8AM. I survived it through the day. Napped for three hours. Woke up with a headache. Still feel really fatigued.
But it's the last day I have to do that shit because tomorrow is the final day of class.
And then finals. And working at the dining hall. I got promoted there. I'm not sure how.
I kind of left Dreamwidth behind which I'm sorry, I sort of DO THIS sometimes, I get so lost in what needs to be done and what society wants that I forgot about those who wish to talk with me. A sure-fire way to be able to talk to me is to say hello first. I only really say hello first to my boyfriend these days.
Yay social anxiety.
Also I think my OCD is getting worse. It just feels worse even though I still only have the same two rituals I've always had. Also my therapist somehow DIDN'T NOTICE I have social anxiety and I don't know whether I just failed to mention it or he failed to notice. He tried to tell me that I may just have MINOR social anxiety and not the actual diagnosis and on three hours of sleep I just had the energy to stare at him and politely disagree.
Dude I am terrified to talk to friends I've known for OVER FOUR YEARS just in case I'm bothering them, don't think that's a normal people trait.
Also I stopped the BC because it and my body just didn't want to get along. Arm infection type of not get along. Lexapro and my brain are at their usual state of confusion, but I'm worried about the bruises developing on my legs.
I epic failed a prelim. I hope to make up for it by kicking the final's ass. Also I wrote a term paper over Thanksgiving break so.
I epic passed another prelim. I'm still not sure how that happened.
My life is pretty much focused on getting through this semester and being able to say I survived.
So I'm sorry for abandoning all of you. Once I have a functioning brain again I'll try to make it up to you with some writing or something.
Tschuess.
I crawled into bed at 4:45AM but like any good insomniac, I had trouble falling asleep and only half-slept until I got up around 6:30AM because I had to be at class by 8AM. I survived it through the day. Napped for three hours. Woke up with a headache. Still feel really fatigued.
But it's the last day I have to do that shit because tomorrow is the final day of class.
And then finals. And working at the dining hall. I got promoted there. I'm not sure how.
I kind of left Dreamwidth behind which I'm sorry, I sort of DO THIS sometimes, I get so lost in what needs to be done and what society wants that I forgot about those who wish to talk with me. A sure-fire way to be able to talk to me is to say hello first. I only really say hello first to my boyfriend these days.
Yay social anxiety.
Also I think my OCD is getting worse. It just feels worse even though I still only have the same two rituals I've always had. Also my therapist somehow DIDN'T NOTICE I have social anxiety and I don't know whether I just failed to mention it or he failed to notice. He tried to tell me that I may just have MINOR social anxiety and not the actual diagnosis and on three hours of sleep I just had the energy to stare at him and politely disagree.
Dude I am terrified to talk to friends I've known for OVER FOUR YEARS just in case I'm bothering them, don't think that's a normal people trait.
Also I stopped the BC because it and my body just didn't want to get along. Arm infection type of not get along. Lexapro and my brain are at their usual state of confusion, but I'm worried about the bruises developing on my legs.
I epic failed a prelim. I hope to make up for it by kicking the final's ass. Also I wrote a term paper over Thanksgiving break so.
I epic passed another prelim. I'm still not sure how that happened.
My life is pretty much focused on getting through this semester and being able to say I survived.
So I'm sorry for abandoning all of you. Once I have a functioning brain again I'll try to make it up to you with some writing or something.
Tschuess.
