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breezeshadow) wrote2014-02-23 03:57 pm
breezeshadow) wrote2014-02-23 03:57 pm
Julius's role in the novel is to ask the obvious
Okay, it isn't really. But with how I write him, sometimes I wonder.
“Why did you come to Welen?”
Hafstra flinched back as if stung, whimpering and shaking his head. Then he stood without warning, sending his papers and dictionary over the floor; Rose May reached down to pick them up, but had barely touched the dictionary before the demi screamed.
It was no human noise — it was a shriek, like a giant eagle in flight. And then came the storm; gusts of wind swept through her apartment, sending the papers on the floor and her desk into a whirlwind, some hitting her face along with what seemed like an endless amount of feathers. Through the roar of the wind, she thought she heard Hafstra speak. As she listened, she realized it was the same foreign word, over and over.
Sitting on the floor with nothing but a dictionary, the therapist opened it up and flipped through the section for Hafstra’s native tongue. The alphabet at least was the same, though there was a fair share of weird characters. Even so, listening to the word as the demi continued to scream it, she made her best guess for what he was saying—
“Wife.”
She looked up at the demi as papers flew around him; somewhere far away there was a knock on her door, possibly some shouting. Hafstra flinched away from the noise, clutching at his head, tears streaming down his cheeks; the wind seemed to follow him as he backed away, bumped into her desk, and then crouched down in a ball on the floor.
Calm.
The familiar voice echoed through Rose May’s head; apparently Hafstra heard her too, as the wind slowed to a steady speed, her papers floating toward the ground. He continued to mutter frantically even as the door opened and Julius stared in shock, a few feathers getting stuck on his clothing.
Easy now. A room is no good place for a storm. Nur spoke gently and steadily; as she did, the winds died down to a mere breeze. That’s probably the best I can do. Keep projecting your emotions everywhere eh, Rose May? Makes my job easier. And on that wry note, the presence vanished.
“What… Is everything okay?” Julius tripped over his words before finding something coherent.
“I… No.” Rose May rose, brushing feathers off of her and refusing to think about the mess; she had better things to do than panic. “Get Duff, please. Tell him it’s urgent.”
I'm not too pleased with this scene, mostly because I don't like using my vampires as deus ex machinas (Mahli would probably make more sense here, but I imagined Nur doing it, so there it is). In the last draft, this scene happened upon Rose May's first meeting with Hafstra, where Rheanna was there to provide the translation for "my wife". But somehow I forgot to have Rose May ask why Hafstra was in Welen in the first place; instead they just talked about him being arrested and boring shit like that.
So yeah, may end up rewriting those scenes so this can go in its proper place. Let me know what you think, though.
“Why did you come to Welen?”
Hafstra flinched back as if stung, whimpering and shaking his head. Then he stood without warning, sending his papers and dictionary over the floor; Rose May reached down to pick them up, but had barely touched the dictionary before the demi screamed.
It was no human noise — it was a shriek, like a giant eagle in flight. And then came the storm; gusts of wind swept through her apartment, sending the papers on the floor and her desk into a whirlwind, some hitting her face along with what seemed like an endless amount of feathers. Through the roar of the wind, she thought she heard Hafstra speak. As she listened, she realized it was the same foreign word, over and over.
Sitting on the floor with nothing but a dictionary, the therapist opened it up and flipped through the section for Hafstra’s native tongue. The alphabet at least was the same, though there was a fair share of weird characters. Even so, listening to the word as the demi continued to scream it, she made her best guess for what he was saying—
“Wife.”
She looked up at the demi as papers flew around him; somewhere far away there was a knock on her door, possibly some shouting. Hafstra flinched away from the noise, clutching at his head, tears streaming down his cheeks; the wind seemed to follow him as he backed away, bumped into her desk, and then crouched down in a ball on the floor.
Calm.
The familiar voice echoed through Rose May’s head; apparently Hafstra heard her too, as the wind slowed to a steady speed, her papers floating toward the ground. He continued to mutter frantically even as the door opened and Julius stared in shock, a few feathers getting stuck on his clothing.
Easy now. A room is no good place for a storm. Nur spoke gently and steadily; as she did, the winds died down to a mere breeze. That’s probably the best I can do. Keep projecting your emotions everywhere eh, Rose May? Makes my job easier. And on that wry note, the presence vanished.
“What… Is everything okay?” Julius tripped over his words before finding something coherent.
“I… No.” Rose May rose, brushing feathers off of her and refusing to think about the mess; she had better things to do than panic. “Get Duff, please. Tell him it’s urgent.”
I'm not too pleased with this scene, mostly because I don't like using my vampires as deus ex machinas (Mahli would probably make more sense here, but I imagined Nur doing it, so there it is). In the last draft, this scene happened upon Rose May's first meeting with Hafstra, where Rheanna was there to provide the translation for "my wife". But somehow I forgot to have Rose May ask why Hafstra was in Welen in the first place; instead they just talked about him being arrested and boring shit like that.
So yeah, may end up rewriting those scenes so this can go in its proper place. Let me know what you think, though.