smw: A woman sits at a typewriter, pages flying, a plug in the back of her awesomely big-curly hair. (Default)
SMW ([personal profile] smw) wrote in [personal profile] breezeshadow 2012-03-31 10:55 pm (UTC)

I'm deeply curious about where you will end up with this. I'm liking the guard; I appreciate seeing a decent human being in a position of authority. Mahli as something other than a creeper is weird, though

One comment: Up top you use "flee" as a noun; should be "flight". Likewise, "grandeur" is used as an adjective, but it's a noun.

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