breezeshadow: It's a wolverine, hey! (Default)
Winter won't stop coming, and neither will Conan's brash behaviour. )

Just a quick, rusty story after a loooong time of not writing. I love Kader, and her interactions with Conan are fun. She, like me, doesn't like kids, but unlike me, her reaction to him is to be her typical self, swearing and all. Sometimes, this gets her and Conan into trouble.

This story presents such a different Kader from usual, damn -- one who has lived with people who love her for a few years, and one who has had a meaningful job and life for what might be the first time. Doesn't stop her from being a swearing grumpy lady, though. She'll be that until the day she dies, and if there is an afterlife, probably afterward, too.

Will try to finish this and tidy it up later.

breezeshadow: TEA TIMES ICON (ALLtheTea)
TW for mentions of war )

Just something I'm working on today.
breezeshadow: TEA TIMES ICON (ALLtheTea)
Sometimes you're just driving home, thinking about your characters while trying NOT to think about the horrible shit you read about last night (seriously, no more reading about the Yugoslav wars. I think the paralyzing panic I got while driving home was a cause). And it makes you realize that one of your characters had a good chance of working as a prostitute for a while.

And thus was born Alden the Prostitute:

TW for frank mentions of sex, including some very depraved sex )

My search history now looks extremely wrong due to the research I had to do for this. Also I haven't figured out what Layla looks like yet, whoops. I have an "Asian" -- no such thing in Malanee, but two countries in the Welen mountains were based on China and Thailand, respectively -- character I plan to introduce, but she didn't seem to fit as a prostitute (not to mention it felt wrong to do so) so she'll show up later.

And thus hopefully I'll get past the scenes where I have to pretend I know how sex and prostitution works. Oh boy!

breezeshadow: It's a wolverine, hey! (Default)
First part of the story, minus a few paragraphs: Here.

Now for an excerpt from the second part:

TW for violence, death, war )

Apologies for any typos or general crappiness. Writing this while waiting for Toyota to stop holding my car hostage. They said 1PM and apparently they plan to hold to that estimate.

breezeshadow: BRAIN PROBLEMS ICON (BrokenBrainGoldfish)
I've been playing Sims this weekend, particularly Kader, Tegre, and Eilis once they are in Arebe. They've been making me smile; Kader keeps acting very much as she does in the stories. Caring for the kids even though she hates them, getting pissy at anyone who compliments her, and during one hilarious incident, she slapped adult Conan, then beat the crap out of him. I still have NO clue what he did.

It gave me a bit of inspiration, though unfortunately it's pretty crap so far.

Six-year-old Conan vs. mid-to-late thirties Kader, go! )

So yeah. Apologies it's crap. Hopefully it'll get a bit better as I work on it.

breezeshadow: ANXIETY TIMES ICON (FeedbackHell)
Title: Lavender
Genre: Fantasy
The Troops: Tegre and Cassandra
Status: Complete but very rough
Rating: PG-13, disturbing imagery and also just very depressing
Summary: Sometimes your body stays alive while your brain slowly rots...
Prompt: NA
Author's Notes: I'm not too happy with this, but I AM happy to have finally finished something. I'll let this stew before going back to flesh it out a bit more. This story was first posted here.

Major TW for depression, familicide, physical disability )
breezeshadow: ANXIETY TIMES ICON (FeedbackHell)
This post may get a bit rambling, but hopefully it'll all make sense.

So on Saturday I drove down to a coastal town a hundred miles from me to visit their aquarium with some friends. This was breaking new territory for me in many ways: I invited them out, not the other way around; I was driving welllll beyond where I'd usually go; and I was leaving the house to get to their place BY 9AM. And so on and so forth.

Unfortunately TW for social phobia )

The good news is my friends are total sweethearts and handled me being a neurotic mess with grace. They told me it was fine if I needed to duck out if the crowds were too much, and were willing to move which table we sat at at the chocolate shop since we were right next to a table of shrieking brats (that isn't exaggeration. I kept wincing, and one of my friends started to get a headache). I felt so bad that I was such a mess, but they were understanding and encouraged me to invite them out again.

I tentatively mentioned us meeting up for board games this weekend for my birthday and they said sure, so we'll see if I get over that activation energy bump again.

I'll try to link some pictures later, but Facebook is FREAKING OUT at uploading them, and also my hands were shaking so badly that most of the photos are shit. But there are some I'll share.


Now onto other things. First: Scott Lynch's Red Seas under Red Skies has a mother-fuckin' dark-skinned single-mother-of-two PIRATE as a character. I'm not enjoying this novel as much as the first in the series (The Lies of Locke Lamora, an excellent book), but DAMMIT that character is made of win. Apparently some asshat whined at Lynch about wish fulfillment regarding her and Lynch very bluntly told him to shut the fuck up, women need wish fulfillment too, which, <3

My favourite character is still Jean because I don't even know, he's just funny and adorable and he carries around twin hatchets, leave me alone.


Finally, I'm almost done with the Gareth/Andy story (I know, SUPER SLOW writer). I can't figure out how to end it, which is normal for me. So here, have a random excerpt until I figure it out:

No TWs that I can think of )

I'm not used to Andy talking so much. I don't think he is either.


On that note, I'm going to take Red Seas with me to bed and either finish it or fall asleep trying. Hope you all are doing well.

breezeshadow: ANXIETY TIMES ICON (FeedbackHell)
First, what you all are more interested in: more of the Gareth story from yesterday.

Soft TW for phantom limb mention )

Really, I just wanted to share that last paragraph. And also share that it took me at least a MINUTE to remember the word "ambush". I stared at WordPad thinking "There's a word for when a group surprise attacks you. I KNOW there is... But what is it?" I was just writing out a text to a friend to ask when it came to me. Thanks, brain.

Also I apologize for my writing being awful lately. I've been severely out of the habit, and Zoloft-brain is being pretty bad lately in creative writing.

And then, to explain the icon: TW for anxiety )

Now to continue this story and hope it gets a bit less like pulling teeth.

breezeshadow: WTF TIMES ICON (WTFCat)
For [community profile] hc_bingo, prompt "First transformation">

TW for phantom limbs and violence including eating live things, cannibalism )

Jeez, this is even darker than the first writing of this story. But once I saw the prompt, I knew I had to rewrite when Gareth first morphs into a werewolf.

Need to clean it up some so the plot is less stereotypical and to make sure my metaphors aren't completely batshit insane. Comments welcome. Obviously, the comfort part is still to come.

Fun fact: every time I write Gareth, I get his pronouns wrong at least once.

Fun fact two: I first wrote that the cannonballs were sleeping. Slackers.

breezeshadow: WRITING TIMES ICON (BellaGUC)
Turns out Lin is actually "Fin". I so smart. I was reading the story starring her to make her for the Sims, and I remembered how much I liked her, so here you go.

[community profile] origfic_bingo, "traveling"

TW for war, violence, PTSD )

So yeah. This will probably be a longer one if I ever manage to finish it.

breezeshadow: AWESOME TIMES ICON (DuckyWEEEEE)
Eventually I may post a whole story here, but my brain's been a tad ADD with writing lately.

[community profile] cottoncandy_bingo, Deciding to have / not have children

Read more... )

Hope you are all having a lovely weekend. My new laptop came in and it is shiny and beautiful, though I may have to change the resolution settings because I am, unfortunately, blind as a bat and this text is a tad too small. I can see it and read it, but my nearsighted/astigmatism combo is making it feel a bit wobbly.

Perhaps I will make some characters in the Sims and share them. I always start fresh with new computers -- growing up my father would have to regularly format my computer's hard drive because old Windows was hilariously unstable, and that computer was just evil anyway. It meant new petz, new everything, and while technology has come along enough for me to fit the entire petz 3 game on my USB, I still start all other games with a clean slate.

breezeshadow: AWESOME TIMES ICON (DuckyWEEEEE)
I need to get into the shower and then off to the doctor's for a blood draw, but woke up with a better idea of how the second part of the Nur story would go, so figured I'd share. I want to keep writing, but there's this thing called WORK that I gotta do. LAME.

No TWs; this is the happy part of the story )

I've never written about Nur and Rose May when they first meet, but needless to say, I imagine them as becoming instant BFFs. Also I hope my writing fails (instead instead of instant? Really brain?) clear up by the time I'm at work.

breezeshadow: WTF TIMES ICON (WTFCat)
So I thought up a Nur story last night, and for the most part it stayed with me.

TW for genocide )

But come on brain, usually Nur stories are HAPPY. What's this nonsense?

I actually hope to bring it around to something more heartwarming, but it will require a timeskip, I think, so we'll see.

Now back to reading about WWII war crimes (I really need to read happier Wikipedia articles) and cleaning the house.

breezeshadow: BRAIN PROBLEMS ICON (BrokenBrainGoldfish)
(Putting an edit at the top: I AM OKAY. I just identify with Kader a lot, and so writing her seemed like a good way to be creative and also get some of my anxiety/stress out. My mind is in a far better place than hers is. <3 )

TW for severe depression, anxiety, suicidal implications, self-harm )

Hilarious typos from this:


They kind of kill the mood, I think.

Anyway, for [community profile] origfic_bingo, space "falling apart". Because when Kader starts to really go downhill, she basically shatters.

Thankfully, Tegre and Eilis are able to pull her out of the depression. While she's never quite better, she gets pretty close to her version of normal.

List of things to add to this so it's complete:

- Kader looking at a letter, hinting at where she is going
- "Blank" throughout the second half. Incorporate into the last sentence.
- Check that I didn't reuse too many metaphors, and clean up cliches

And now to try and relax before heading to bed.

breezeshadow: AWESOME TIMES ICON (DuckyWEEEEE)
No one really wants to die to save the world - "The Human Stain", Kamelot

Read more... )

This music video is really, really fucking bizarre/creepy. Because Kamelot.


Mar. 22nd, 2014 02:58 pm
breezeshadow: Is it not adorable? (PumaKitten)

It was supposed to be a normal trip down to Frenton, the closest major city to their farm. A simple trip of selling grains and produce...

TW for violence (including against children) )
breezeshadow: WRITING TIMES ICON (BellaGUC)
Work was crazy busy for the first half of month since our lab was due for inspection by a major accreditation facility. Think OSHA + FDA. They showed up Wednesday and there were a few moments when I thought the whole thing would fall apart... But we only got a single deficiency for an overdue fire drill, which apparently is incredible. If one more person congratulates me, I may dissolve into the floor to hide.

This weekend is very much recovery weekend, but here, have a tiny bit of writing:

For gen bingo, one of two tropes, not sure how it will play out yet )

Rose May is such a petulant 1800s teenager.

This story will be me trying to write 1800s schooling, Welen-style. I imagine it as like modern schooling, but that is just SO inaccurate. 1800s schools were both stricter and more lax than ours. Physical discipline was commonplace, but apparently so were guns since a good chunk of the school shootings listed on Wikipedia are some punk kid shooting his own foot while playing with a gun in class.

Rose May grew up and was educated on a farm up until some serious bullshit occurred (apparently that story isn't up on DW! Will have to get it for you guys). It's only been a year since her life was violently uprooted, so naturally, her opinion of everything is shrouded in doubt.

breezeshadow: TEA TIMES ICON (ALLtheTea)
This will be a relatively quick post of "life & writing" since at 9AM I start volunteering with Save the Bay. We'll be planting native seeds in an area of the Hayward coast that is closed to the public. I hope they'll let us take some pictures as we start with a 15-minute nature walk, but since it's a very delicate ecosystem right now they may not.

After that it will be shop at Target for some food, an iron, super glue (oh yeah, I'm having FUN tonig-- Wait no, I just spilled candle wax on the carpet), and copious amounts of clearance chocolate.

Then back home for hopefully some writing or at least video games.

Speaking of writing:

TW for severe depression, because Tegre )

I have a rant about how some people STILL BELIEVE in humourism, but not enough time to get into it. Hope you all have a lovely Saturday.

breezeshadow: ANXIETY TIMES ICON (FeedbackHell)
I need to write other characters besides Kader. )

It just feels like a Kader kind of night, and tonight she's 18-years-old, fresh out of graduating WAY early from the studies portion of medical school, and ready to kick some ass, take names, and maybe perform crude 1800s surgery.
breezeshadow: WRITING TIMES ICON (BellaGUC)
(Prompt from an old Bingo Card: trust)

Meander? )

A young Meander (estimated 12-13 years old) talks with a sailor to be smuggled to the continent of Welen.

Meander was orphaned very young, with no name or identity. I imagine he went through an orphanage or two before living in the streets instead. He understands the Eroqi tongue (not sure which one it is) very well, but cannot speak it as well, and can only read a few words (even then, he's associated that "symbol" with the object, so not "true" reading). What he DOES have is a more-than-photographic memory thanks to untrained telepathy. Hence, when he remembers things, he can cough them back up in the exact same voice, emotion, etc. Ability to do so fades as he forgets, of course, but some memories are strong enough for them to stay vivid... Like the mystery stranger who gave him his name.

Edit - Leaving a note mostly to myself, though you're welcome to ask for details (TW anxiety on those, though):

"My brain is in the feedback loop FROM HELL"


breezeshadow: It's a wolverine, hey! (Default)

August 2016

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