breezeshadow: ANXIETY TIMES ICON (FeedbackHell)
This post may get a bit rambling, but hopefully it'll all make sense.

So on Saturday I drove down to a coastal town a hundred miles from me to visit their aquarium with some friends. This was breaking new territory for me in many ways: I invited them out, not the other way around; I was driving welllll beyond where I'd usually go; and I was leaving the house to get to their place BY 9AM. And so on and so forth.

Unfortunately TW for social phobia )

The good news is my friends are total sweethearts and handled me being a neurotic mess with grace. They told me it was fine if I needed to duck out if the crowds were too much, and were willing to move which table we sat at at the chocolate shop since we were right next to a table of shrieking brats (that isn't exaggeration. I kept wincing, and one of my friends started to get a headache). I felt so bad that I was such a mess, but they were understanding and encouraged me to invite them out again.

I tentatively mentioned us meeting up for board games this weekend for my birthday and they said sure, so we'll see if I get over that activation energy bump again.

I'll try to link some pictures later, but Facebook is FREAKING OUT at uploading them, and also my hands were shaking so badly that most of the photos are shit. But there are some I'll share.


Now onto other things. First: Scott Lynch's Red Seas under Red Skies has a mother-fuckin' dark-skinned single-mother-of-two PIRATE as a character. I'm not enjoying this novel as much as the first in the series (The Lies of Locke Lamora, an excellent book), but DAMMIT that character is made of win. Apparently some asshat whined at Lynch about wish fulfillment regarding her and Lynch very bluntly told him to shut the fuck up, women need wish fulfillment too, which, <3

My favourite character is still Jean because I don't even know, he's just funny and adorable and he carries around twin hatchets, leave me alone.


Finally, I'm almost done with the Gareth/Andy story (I know, SUPER SLOW writer). I can't figure out how to end it, which is normal for me. So here, have a random excerpt until I figure it out:

No TWs that I can think of )

I'm not used to Andy talking so much. I don't think he is either.


On that note, I'm going to take Red Seas with me to bed and either finish it or fall asleep trying. Hope you all are doing well.

breezeshadow: ANXIETY TIMES ICON (FeedbackHell)
First, what you all are more interested in: more of the Gareth story from yesterday.

Soft TW for phantom limb mention )

Really, I just wanted to share that last paragraph. And also share that it took me at least a MINUTE to remember the word "ambush". I stared at WordPad thinking "There's a word for when a group surprise attacks you. I KNOW there is... But what is it?" I was just writing out a text to a friend to ask when it came to me. Thanks, brain.

Also I apologize for my writing being awful lately. I've been severely out of the habit, and Zoloft-brain is being pretty bad lately in creative writing.

And then, to explain the icon: TW for anxiety )

Now to continue this story and hope it gets a bit less like pulling teeth.

breezeshadow: WTF TIMES ICON (WTFCat)
For [community profile] hc_bingo, prompt "First transformation">

TW for phantom limbs and violence including eating live things, cannibalism )

Jeez, this is even darker than the first writing of this story. But once I saw the prompt, I knew I had to rewrite when Gareth first morphs into a werewolf.

Need to clean it up some so the plot is less stereotypical and to make sure my metaphors aren't completely batshit insane. Comments welcome. Obviously, the comfort part is still to come.

Fun fact: every time I write Gareth, I get his pronouns wrong at least once.

Fun fact two: I first wrote that the cannonballs were sleeping. Slackers.

breezeshadow: Is it not adorable? (PumaKitten)
Bad brain spell, tonight. So I inked the drawing for my friend, loaded up Sims, and typed this up on my iPad:

TW for disturbing imagery, war imagery, and uh, loss of limb? )

The _____ is for the name of the doctor, which I have forgotten and will look up later. Obviously, this scene is not finished yet since there isn't much comfort in there, but I imagine it will be pretty short.

Now to sleep.

breezeshadow: It's a wolverine, hey! (Default)
I made Andy and Gareth in it because come on WHO ELSE would I make when I have a game that now allows werewolves.

Utter silly behind the cut )

Seriously. This expansion pack is HILARIOUS. I kept snickering at some of the silly things happening. It means I'm getting no writing done but considering my anxiety lately I'm not sure I would anyway.

Maybe a more legit post later. Sorry guys. Just had to share these images.

breezeshadow: It's a wolverine, hey! (Default)
Should be asleep. Have words that are floating in my head instead. As if I'd write FORMALLY out of sequence.


"We did our best to get the stable dark and quiet. I still don't understand why she isn't in a hospital, though. She speaks Ubiquitous." The veterinarian frowned as he wiped his hands on a towel that likely would just leave them even dirtier. The horse he had just been treating did not look at him with much sympathy.

"Welcome to Welen. If you have fur, you're clearly just an animal." Gareth looked past the veterinarian; Rose May tried to follow his gaze, and noticed that one of the stables down the row had blankets and towels hanging from any space that was usually open, all but sealing it off. "She's in the one way at the end, I imagine?"

"Horses are a bit unsettled by her, and she seems to just HATE them. Says something about them smelling awful." The man shrugged, smiling softly. "I could relate to that. But why are you here to see her?"

"Legal business. No not about her, last I checked demons don't need immigration papers." Gareth sighed at the veterinarian's baffled stare, doing what Rose May could tell was his absolute best not to sneer and snarl. "About a case of ours. Hafstra Dagrun, you may have--"

"The demi doctor? What does she have to do with-- You know what, never mind. I'm too busy to be dragged into a court case." The doctor hung the towel up on an aging rack. "She's likely awake by now. You can see her."

He led them down the barn corridor, past various horses who only showed interest once they realized the doctor was not looking for them. Upon reaching the covered stable, Rose May noticed that light could still filter through. The veterinarian took his ring of keys, unlocked the stable door, and pulled it open with a creek. Carefully the two lawyers stepped underneath the blankets.

Then the vet closed the door just as Rose May spotted the being inside, and she wished she had an easier way out than pushing away blankets and clambering over wood.

She noticed the demon's claws first -- the front ones were thick and long, but blunt at the ends, with a few damaged at the tips. The back ones were not quite as long, but sharp, as were the demon's teeth with she yawned upon their arrival. Her head was vaguely cat-like, but the snout was too wide, the nose fleshy and twitching in their direction. Her legs looked stocky even when she was curled up, though she made up for it with length and weight. Long tufts of fur were raised and stiff near her ears, shoulders, and on her feet. Her eyes were small, focused vaguely in their direction -- Rose May was not sure she could see them that well, but suspected their scents gave the demon everything she needed to know.

Then there were the wounds -- gashes and cuts seemed to cover the demon's legs and upper body, with a towel tossed over one on her neck stained red and possibly still leaking. It looked like she had been hacked at with a sword, but Rose May could not imagine how that would have possibly happened. Swords had fallen out of fashion ages ago, and besides she was not sure even especially drunk idiots would go after a demon with them.

The demon's tail tossed to the other side, long tuft at the end mixing with the dirt of the stall. She had been provided a blanket that somehow was still not long enough, even though it was made for horses.

"'Legal business.'" Her voice was gravely, deep, and thick with a strange accent; Rose May could barely make out the words, but they were definitely in a human language. "Ground walkers and your odd habits, yes?"

"I apologize for our poor manners. We should have spoken to you directly right away but he was concerned for your health." Gareth took a step forward and knelt down to the demon's level. "I would greet you in your ways but I am not versed in them. I am Gareth Haeden."

"You would not like our greetings." The demon stretched then, and rose suddenly; though her shoulder was barely higher than two feet, her bulk made her seem far larger. She extended her head toward Gareth and sniffed at him cautiously, keeping weight off the more mauled of her front legs. "Anca, Gareth Haeden. Why are you here?"

"I am a lawyer representing a man who has been attacked, and I believe you were witness to this fight." At Anca's blank look, Gareth sighed. "A man was attacked by someone else. I am trying to help him. To do this I need to know what happened."

"You could help him more by banishing who attacked him and leaving me to my sleep." The demon then yawned in Gareth's face, but the lawyer seemed nonplussed; Rose May imagined this was not the worst thing that had happened to him, or even close to the most frightening.

"While I whole-heartedly agree, our system is not so sensible, and so I need to gather proof he was attacked by this man." Gareth paused. "The man I am representing is... Kind of half-bird. Does that sound familiar?"

"Bird?" Anca looked blankly at him once more. "I do recall an odd ground dweller, who did not smell anything like most of the ones I have met. But I do not know anything about these 'birds'."

Gareth waved her confusion away with a quick gesture that Anca watched intently. "It's probably him. Would you be willing to talk with us?"

"I thought I already was." Rose May swore that the demon smiled as she sat down awkwardly, tail curling around her feet. "Or at least to you. Your companion is too busy being frightened, though she has calmed some from the initial surprise."

"What?" Gareth turned around and stared at Rose May; she would have returned the look, but she was too busy being impressed by Anca. The man sighed. "Rose, get over here and introduce yourself at least."

She would have been encouraged by Gareth if she did not suspect that talking to things that may seriously maul him was more of a hobby for him than an avoided occurrence; yet she still walked over and sat down beside him, spreading her skirt as best she could to avoid the dirt. From what little anyone knew, demons had no interest in harming humans, and seemed to mostly prefer to avoid them. How Anca had ended up in a stable, then, was anyone's guess.

That had to wait until later, however, when it no doubt became Gareth's next project.

"Rose May Pursa. Pardon my rudeness."

"Rudeness? No. Sensibility." And then the demon grinned at them, baring two rows of sharp teeth. "So then. Let us continue our talk. Which of the many fights I saw do you claim to want your 'help' for?"


Bed now .
breezeshadow: WRITING TIMES ICON (BellaGUC)
Title: Pending
Genre: Fantasy
The Troops: Gareth, Andy
Status: Complete but very rough, likely typos everywhere
Rating: PG-13, just in case
Summary: In running from yourself, you may just run into others.
Prompt: "Run"


This was supposed to be depressing )
breezeshadow: WRITING TIMES ICON (BellaGUC)
Title: The Wild Children
Genre: Fantasy
The Troops: Gareth
Status: Complete
Rating: PG-13, just in case
Summary: Children are cruel. Children are even worse when some aren't human.


Man Summer School Sucks )
breezeshadow: It's a wolverine, hey! (Default)
So having made Rose May's household, it's time for Gareth and Andy. Gareth has pretty much been all set and ready to go, though making his Sim was tricky. I think I mostly got what I want, but there are a few issues. For one thing, he looks too young and attractive. Gareth has aged prematurely, to the point of greying hair (which I mostly got; his hair does look a bit old), and an old face. Sadly, I could not get a very old face on a Young Adult Sim, but I tried. I left a stubble because Gareth's hygiene is nicht sehr gut.

Then come traits. Gareth is a Workaholic (Trait I) like Rose May, but unlike Rose May he has Commitment Issues (Trait II), which are painfully clear in his on/off relationship with Andy. Though he may seem like one, Andy is actually not a perfectionist, but he is very Ambitious (Trait III), and can actually be quite Inappropriate (Trait IV), especially in court room. The last trait, like with Rose May, is tricky. I imagine Gareth as an insomniac but probably not a light sleeper, so I think I'll go with the random: Never Nude. I imagine Gareth as having issues showing extensive skin.

Favourites are tricky. Gareth isn't a big eater and so he'd probably prefer something light, like PB&J. Music and colour are random: electronic and green.

Andy is fun. As a brown werewolf, he has rich chocolate skin (too rich for Sims III to manage), beautiful chocolate hair (it can manage that), and brilliant yellow eyes (and that too!). I make his eyes look very foreign. In the end he ends up sexy. Works for me; I imagine Andy being a rather gorgeous were both in human and wolf form. He ends up shirtless Jacob-style for swimming, athletic, and sleeping, since he'd probably be in wolf form for those, most of the time.

Now for Traits. First and foremost, Andy is Neurotic (Trait I); forced castration does that to you. He's also really damn Unlucky (Trait II), and being a werewolf, he Loves the Outdoors (Trait III). From here there are a number of traits I could add. I could pay a tribute to his "wolves mate for life" belief with "Hopeless Romantic". I could continue the "his life really sucks" with the "Loser" trait. Or I could make him Athletic since he's, well, a werewolf. Decisions, decisions.

I give him Grumpy (Trait IV), as his friends are shocked when he is happy in the novels. Hilariously, the Sim growls. xD So far, Gareth has picked such a LOVELY mate. And he did: through all this shit, Andy still goes into human society, pulls through, and overall shows that he is one hell of a Brave (Trait V) individual. Go Andy.

Favourites are fun. Andy is a wolf; he wants MEAT. Steak it is! Music I just make Custom -- weres aren't big on music -- and for colour I pick brown because I'm boring. For wish I put "Perfect Mind, Perfect Body" because that sounds pretty Andy to me. Voice is the growliest thing I can find in the Sims. Oh, and Gareth's life-time wish was top of politics, of course.

Yay all done! I merge 'em with the other family because dammit, I want to play them D:

So without further adoe, here are the two newcomers:

Gareth who doesn't look like Gareth. In the background...

Is Andy who sort of looks like Andy. Face needs some work, though.

Just a bit of haha. Their relationship is REALLY high, higher than Meander and Rose May's even though they are engaged and these two aren't. Which is pretty much the exact OPPOSITe of the novels but oh well.

Off to play now.

Edit - In a LOL moment, Almas the vampire set the stove on fire while trying to cook Mac & Cheese, Andy coolly extinguished the flames, and Nur got all excited because HOLY SHIT FIRE. I had Almas order a pizza while Andy complained about Almas. Nur yawned in his face. Oh Sims.



breezeshadow: It's a wolverine, hey! (Default)

August 2016

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