I don't even remember most of last night's dream except it involved me living in a building that had multiple apartments, one of them taking up two floors that really looked quite fancy; one of them just... A room and a bathroom; mine which was this tight cramped thing at the end of a small staircase; and I think some other apartment? I don't even know.
I do know most of my family was there and I was trying to please them. And that at one point I was pushing some steamer with too many buttons through a parade but something was wrong with it.
And somehow I ended up trying to crawl through this hatch, and told someone that I barely made it due to my hips, and then once I got through the shoot I landed in my upstairs shower that had been relocated to some platform where some guy was giving all sorts of proclamations about how I was the princess or something. Then I started bleeding everywhere and frantically got a pad and shouted while getting changed that yes, I was totally the princess, there to save them (or something), but realized I'd have to show myself to them, and got changed fast enough that the delay was only merely awkward.
Also I think my lab was involved. Maybe. I think I remember a train too. Honestly the plot and scenes were so convoluted and strange I can't even tell you what was going on in the scenes I remembered up there.
I was sort of amused by the responses to my quick post, as I, being myself, looked at that and went "What's the big deal? Why are they so worried?"
Then the malaise really hit and I felt like doing nothing except staring into space at the computer because I decided that nothing mattered anymore.
I hate meds.
Of course then there's the excitement at work which involves this dude I'm calling creepvisor, who seems to think that if he just asks me multiple times in the same conversation if he could "follow" me or "come with me" to lab, that clearly I will eventually say yes. When I didn't, he then asked "Well what floor is your lab on?" Right due, I'm totally going to tell you that so you can stalk me more effectively. Sure. Dealing with you at work wasn't aggravating enough.
At least he hasn't mentioned lunch again. Asking someone "Where do you eat lunch?" is NOT an effective way to try and get to know someone, people. It kind of just creeps them out.
I was actually nervous to go to lab last night because I thought he'd somehow find his way there, but he didn't so, you know, yay.
I also have a boyfriend who has been utterly befuddling me because I keep expecting him to run away as my inherent crazy slowly boils over as the semester continues, and instead he sticks around and tells me he's not going to leave. And my brain goes "But why not?! I'm insane! I must be tiring to date! Why would you stick around?"
Maybe it's because he loves me; that's just a theory though.
Furthermore grad school is kind of this weird mix between "oh god work drowning" and "that's not grad-level difficulty." My project design course gives us quizzes that are literally just vomiting up verbatim what the reading says. You don't even have to do any in-depth reading, not when it asks things like "Did you read the useful article?" (No joke. That was a question once.) Bioprocess Engineering seems like it should be HARD but right now it's just very tedious. Nanobiotechnology and Principles of Drug Delivery are the only two courses who actually are still kind of intimidating.
As far as lab work goes I finally ran a successful experiment and got to watch my cancer cells act mostly confused in the collagen gel. I hope to run another one today but the gels keep being fickle. Cooperate with me, science! In any case my friends seem surprised by how much time I actually SPEND in lab, which has me like "? Isn't this what I am supposed to do?"
And then of course working at the dining hall on weekends.
Dropping a class has given me sleep recovery time on Mondays and Wednesdays. I feel like come October I will be worshiping this time.
So to my friends: I am really sorry I have sort of dropped off of the face of the planet but I am so caught up in this craziness that I am not really speaking to ANYONE unless they talk to me first, the lone (barely) exception being the boyfriend. Some of you I'd love to contact but you keep going and being invisible 90% of the time on AIM so I have to just hope you surprise me :( (no seriously, smw
, what's up with that? It's been utterly baffling me for weeks. xD )
Also my ability to write has been severely compromised by "not enough time" and "not enough energy". Which I really, truly hate. I wrote something for my bf that I may get up here later today. It doesn't help that the lack of motivation is like "Just give up your dreams of being published. It's never going to happen." It's really great inspiration to write.
And so that's that, I feel! The joint pain is still around, so I may actually take the plunge and make a Gannett appointment to figure out seriously, WTF is up, why are my legs hurting. However, my priorities are still ruined toward being a perfect student and worker, so. I may be talking out of my ass.
If you have any specific questions, feel free to ask them. Or you can request writing off of me. Maybe if OTHER PEOPLE want something...
Now time to run to lab, with the hopes that my gels will cooperate.